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Funk

by Brett Domino

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ChronoTango
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ChronoTango This album seemed perhaps a little mundane at first, but after even the first listen, I kept getting cravings to listen to it again and again. Brett Domino's geekish appearance serves only to explain his attention to word play and skills with a synthesizer. Favorite track: NGC 4945.
Ariamaki
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Ariamaki The KICK DRUM tho. Favorite track: Fake Friends.
DraggingFly
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DraggingFly Brett knocks it out of the park with a fantastic album that tackles nearly every angle of "Love song" with a Funky vibe fitting it's title. Each song while distinct absolutely meshes with each other. A top notch album. Favorite track: Facsimile.
Dusty Bob
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Dusty Bob I've had songs from this album stuck in my head for days. This is the opposite of a problem. Favorite track: Fuchsia.
Jack Johnson
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Jack Johnson Got a nice 80s feel Favorite track: Douche.
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1.
All Rhetoric 04:00
Here we go, back at the centre of the universe Ripping up rulebooks like we Copernicus What’s that? What does it matter you never heard of us? You’re grooving to this track & I’ve barely finished the first verse It’s the B.D.T, that’s B.D. and S.P. Look us up on the G, double-O G, L, E. But don’t get perplexed, we don’t possess a camera Just to express our viewpoints and blabber on No, we ain’t vloggers and no, we ain’t bothered I know we just flogging a dead horse to a lot of ya Yes, I got a ukulele, don’t blame me I just find guitars that little bit too weighty Actually, that makes no sense, I carry a keytar Thirty inches upwards from wherever my feet are It’s eight and a half pounds of solid molded plastic I’m gonna play it now, so prepare to get your ass kicked Boom! If you’re down with us Sway! If you’re down with us Jump! If you’re down with us It’s all rhetoric It’s all rhetoric Hey, come over here, yeah, baby, come to Brett Domino Take me by the hand and I’m’a take you where you wanna go Yes, I work magic, but don’t confuse me with Dynamo I play the bassoon, but I don’t got no piccolo I got more hits than I know what to do with I don’t mean in the charts, I mean on the computer Soon as I got tracks that pack stacks I’m’a pick up my Grammy for Best Non-Classical Producer If you wanna get down then you know where to go And if you find yourself in Yorkshire ladies, come say hello ‘Cause we got the funk, and the funk is unstoppable If you think you can stop the funk I’d say no, it’s impossible It’s at least improbable; funk, it’s a phenomenon Yeah, it’s a slumber party be sure to put your pyjamas on
2.
NGC 4945 04:04
Heart stopped, breathless Just like the song by Texas Feel like I’m gonna bring up my breakfast Sledgehammer to my solar plexus Perspiration on my lip Sweat dripping down my rib Shattered my entire demeanour The first time I ever seen her I’m not one to be exaggeratin’, fabricatin’ But this girl, she’s so devastatingly captivating She lights me up like a thousand watt incandescent bulb Yeah, she’s out of this world She must be from NGC 4945 She can’t be from this galaxy She just like nothin’ I’ve seen Before on this planet She from NGC 4945 Or a similar galaxy Maybe Messier 83 And I want her to take me home I gotta see you so I’m gonna send a rocket up Hotline to NASA ‘cause I don’t wanna cock it up Sucked in by your supernova gravity Getting hot, hot like black hole entropy Take me to the mothership, show me how to work it Interstellar species getting down and dirty ‘Cause I come in peace, just wanna learn your ways Wanna Netflix and chill out in outer space This kind of thing ain’t normal ‘Cause to her I’m just a mere mortal And I ain’t gonna play no more Because a guy like me can’t survive in space And she be like, listen If you wanna get down, get down with me Then you gotta be from another galaxy
3.
Blackberry 03:30
Yeah, I’m the realest Some say a genius Four years time I’ll’a outlived Jesus Keyses. Pull up in my Hackney, that’s a taxi Don’t got no license I just snack in the back seat Red lights off, pop a tenner to the cabby Meter says nine, keep the quid, classy They’ve got a glimpse, now here comes the cavalry People flocking round me like they just wanna ask me Whatcha doing later, wanna do this thing? I’m like I’m gonna put that in my Blackberry Put that in my Blackberry Tuesday night there’s some great live music Sounds good, count me in. Oh wait, what? Acoustic reimaginings of classic rock songs with pan-pipes? I’m’a put that in my Blackberry Put that in my Blackberry Am-dram Phantom Road race on tandems Launch of a shop that sells overpriced candles Something advertised as reaching out to the fandom I’m’a put that in my Blackberry Put that in my Blackberry Lunch at a place where they don’t do cakes Invitation from a stranger to collaborate Fifteen rounds in the ring with a heavyweight I’m just gonna put that in my Blackberry Put that in my Blackberry
4.
Fake Friends 03:27
I’m a hard-hitter, big baller See me in da club, I be letting mad dollar fly I lie, my cash got the queens head Darwin on the back, thin metallic dash thread The bouncers all know me They be like, hey homie VIP for me & Steven an’ our cronies Smellin’ fresh, sippin’ on negronies Ladies looking over like, telephone me People say YOLO so time to play All through the night ‘til the break of day But for just one night Yeah, tonight I’m like No, I don’t want to tear sh** up No, I don’t want to get f****ed up All I really want to do is stay home with my fake friends No, I don’t want to double up No, I don’t want to hit a club All I really want to do is stay home with my fake friends Yeah, this time last weekend I was out with my clique and I say with no pretence, we do this quite frequently Propping up bars ‘n’ drinking like Tarzan would If he hadn’t’ve been raised by the Mangani apes Drake. Shapes. Thrown down on the dancefloor Skills so deadly, cover your mouth it might be airborne Fire so many shots that they all call me the machine gun Hands up in the air as soon as I predict the kick drum Don’t look at me like that Don’t try to drag me out, I will fight back Now and again, I just want my fake friends
5.
Interlude #1 00:34
6.
(In a) Funk 03:43
Take me down into your hippocampus I got some questions and you got the answers But you won’t give ‘em up, and I ain’t giving up ‘Cause we got something, but I don’t know if you see it I think you do, but maybe don’t want to believe it Look me in the eye & just take the jump ‘Cause right now, girl, you got me all up in a funk Yeah, catch me in the morning, I’m bright and breezy Putting coffee in the moka pot, nice and easy But my cappuccino tend to sap my ego When I check my SMS you say you don’t wanna see me Well girl you know, even though I might have put my foot in it You’re kissing goodbye to a good thing if you’re shutting it away And baby, I can win you round So please just give me a chance ‘cause you’re bringing me down Girl, you’re my Beyoncé I can be your Jay Z You know we both single So give me a signal I got no time for Tinder I’d rather scroll through your profile pictures Just give me a sign Yeah, you’re my A. Jolie I can be your Brad P* So what’s taking the time up Making your mind up? You can be my valentine Every single valentines day When it’s valentines day I’m ready for the outcome, tell me blunt I’m standing here, defenceless, at the battlefront Wondering if I shot a brick or if I hit a slam dunk ‘Cause the last few weeks I’ve been pretty much stuck in a funk *NB: I wrote this song before they split up
7.
Facsimile 03:58
That’s right, girl, bounce that ass Shake it to this tape like you’re never coming back That’s the main reason why I make this music So I can sit back and watch your body lose it Yeah, just get lost in the moment ‘Cause time don’t wait for no man But if time’s makin an exception for beauty Then surely it’ll slow it right down for you ‘n’ me We be pretty well matched But there’s a voice in my head saying there’s a catch I can’t deny that there is sexual attraction But let’s just take a step back before any further action Yeah, you’re damn near perfect from your head to your feet You even like to eat the type of food I like to eat We could be soul mates down on paper But I don’t feel the butterflies when I date ya No, I don’t feel the butterflies What’s with that, girl? You’re like a facsimile of my ideal girlfriend You’re not the one, but I can’t put my finger on why You’re like a facsimile of my dream woman You’re pretty damn near perfect, but it’s perfect that I want Now, don’t get me wrong, girl, don’t misquote me You’re a ten out of ten, yeah and your body’s smoking hot Like a wok on a nine-inch hob You got me sweating so hard I got to fetch a mop Everybody be telling me I’m being crazy Not to go home with such a sexy lady ‘Cause I said, in my head, that you’re damn near perfect But something unexplainable is making me nervous I don’t know why, but I’m not convinced I’m’a just go home now and listen to Prince You don’t have to be rich to be my girl You just have to be the one, and you’re just not her Though it pains me to say it And believe me, I don’t downplay it Yeah, we could be soul mates down on paper But I just don’t feel the butterflies when I date ya
8.
Fuchsia 04:42
It’s the way the sunlight falls down through the trees It’s the feeling that you get just before you sneeze Like a glass of ice cold water on a hot day Like when everyone went mad for that one song by Gotye That’s the feeling that I get whenever I’m with you And if you feel the same then you should tell me so ‘Cause I’m not good at letting these kind of things go Don’t you know my only kryptonite is you ‘Cause when your hair that shade of fuchsia I don’t wanna see a future without you ‘Cause baby when you don’t got that shade of fuchsia I be like F.U.C.H, see ya When you got that fuchsia Like when you match three symbols on a lottery card You accelerate the pounding of my heart But just like when you take the time to read the guidelines And realise you need to get four things to win a prize I soon find myself crashing back down headfirst Mm, girl, your hair so vibrant Wanna come with me? We’ll go somewhere private That shade, it drives me wild You’re the only girl on the British Isles With style like that, eyes like that Wear no other colour ‘cause you’re wise like that See you walking over, I’m like Hallelujah She knows how to work the fuchsia Like a rooster, I’m crowing, cock-a-doodle, I’m in a stupor Need booster shots to stop me picturing us in your boudoir I got it bad, I gotta have her, I’m infatuated Weighing me down, I’m like a camel incapacitated She got to be in my future When she got that shade of fuchsia
9.
Magic Cane 04:31
Insomnia Can’t seem to stop myself from wanting ya I gotta have you, sweet thing Just one more taste to get me off through the night, alright What you got? You got to give it to me Albatross around my neck got me feeling woozy You give me fever, seeing all kind of kaleidoscope lights, tonight Is it just me or are the walls closing in on us? Is this real life or is this something made by Oculus? Desire consumes me with unstoppable ferociousness Pull the pin from my grenade ‘Cause I’m an addict Just gotta have it Sugar I gotta feel your sweet love running round through my veins And I know you’re just no good to me But I’m just a sucker for gluttony And you know just how to satisfy me It’s something I just can’t explain It’s like magic Cane You draw me in like metal to Magneto I need you like them fish need to find Nemo Give me superpowers like Keanu Reeves as Neo Kicking it with Brett D & this guy named Sio Dependency I have to say I have a tendency for it I just can’t get enough of you, you make me feel like I’m alive One more hit I’m begging, baby, will you give me it? Feed my saccharific infatuation, promise this will be the last time You know me girl, yeah, I’ve always had a sweet tooth I ain’t no liar, I say nothing but the sweet truth My head says stop, but my heart says do it Get that dopamine into my brain
10.
Shade 04:50
Everything looks good in the sunshine Everything feels good in the sunshine Everyone looks good in the sunshine But you’re the kind of person that looks best in the shade Kick out your best lick, put up your fists ‘Cause we’re about to get physical Don’t act quizzical, you know what I mean I’m built like a bean, of course I’m not being literal I’m talking in the vernacular I’m an ambassador, get ready for a lyrical massacre I got the rhymes when it comes down to it I hope you got a tongue, mate, you’re about to chew it I take you down like a lamb to the slaughter ‘Cause I come straight outta Dictionary Corner I was born there, I’ll floor ya, here’s a caution, have some water You’re gonna get dehydrated, just don’t say I didn’t warn ya Fzz, that’s your brain overheating in the sun Like Carlos Santana, man, it’s a hot one Blue sky, cool breeze, thirty plus centigrade But you’d better stay at home and don’t come out of the shade Let’s go out in the sunshine We could have a fun time Kicking a ball and sitting Oh no, but I don’t wanna look at you ‘Cause you’re not too pretty Yeah, it’s all good in the summertime Mixing up a fresh lime soda Cachaça and cola But you’re better in the shade if you know what’s good for you Ding ding ding, now we’re back in the ring You’d better have a screen up for these shots I’m ‘bout to sling I hope you get tweets ‘Cause I got mad beef And one-hundred-and-forty characters to bring Ping ping ping, that’s your phone lighting up Delivering fresh zing that I’m typing up You’re so inconsequential, GPS can’t find ya You’re so unsightly, your face crashed Grindr Your IQ so low, you gotta dig for it Unlimited refills of the stupid juice and your swigging it What’s that you’re wearing? It’s an absolute disgrace Your computer has a really clumsy user interface You’re just a massive idiot, and that’s all I got to say So your best bet, I guess, is just to stay away Yeah, you’re a fully qualified member of the jerk brigade Only one place for you and I’m afraid that’s the shade
11.
Interlude #2 01:01
Zoom so far you see the Earth’s curvature See that we be falling apart like cheap furniture But ya ain’t no antique, can’t just refurbish ya You just get left until you have to pull the curtain, yeah Soon we’ll just be elderly gentlemen And then this music just be sounding like Vera Lynn To all the young folk While we be in a home Busting out Snoop, Biggie and Eminem Snoop, Biggie and Eminem. Turn the speakers up I can’t hear it
12.
Douche 04:11
Well I was hanging out round the back of Aldi On a Sunday they throw out all the stuff that’s mouldy Except most of it’s not actually mouldy, it’s edible I take some of it home, just seems ethical It’s certainly cheaper than doing a big shop I say cheaper, it’s free, that’s about the biggest price drop You’re gonna get, I guess, but I digress It was about 8pm, more or less I was checking some bread when I saw her Bit stale, but it’d be fine with some water She was leaning on a wall, with a cigarette Her eyes were smoky, her hair was what you’d call brunette I plucked up the courage to introduce myself Can’t remember what I said, it was casual but heartfelt I took her to Bella Italia I had antipasti, she had a lasagne We talked a bit, but she seemed to glaze over I asked her what was wrong and she said she had to go now I said, can I see you again? She just said bye I pushed her for an answer, and she replied You’re not my type, you’re too introverted You don’t stand out in a crowd You’re not my type, you’re too unassertive I like my guys to be loud. She just wants a douche I said, I’m sorry I don’t meet your requirements I know I’m not ripped like a sexy fireman But I refuse to believe you’re just attracted to idiots You’re better than that and in my experience If you’re attracted to bad boys, then that’s a bad choice She said, why? I said You don’t have to be Sigmund Freud to work it out Besides, I can be a bad boy She just laughed & said, not in those corduroys I said, no, it’s about striking a balance I can act tough, but without being callous I’m good at banter; I’ll just tone it down a bit I can be sexy, without being a dick She said, prove it; get sexy for me Get sexy for me I said, OK, on the count of three
13.
Interlude #3 01:49
14.
Tongue Tied 04:34
I’ve never been much of a player I know I said I was but words aren’t worth the paper You probably think that I’m some kind of Don Draper But I work from home, not in a fancy skyscraper Line up our fans and they would stretch the equator Maybe one of them is cool and I could date her But right now I’m’a have to take a rain check ‘Cause all that I can think about now is my next-door neighbour Yeah, I think I’m in love with my neighbour I’d follow her across acre after acre Just like the butler in the second Tomb Raider And she’s figuratively locked me in that walk-in refrigerator Yeah, she so cold she got me shaking I get so nervous when I see her I start quaking Mouth dry at just the thought of conversation Brain dead for potential ice-breakers But here I am now, final preparations Standing by her door, the moment for which I’ve been waiting About to make the very first communication Take a big puff on my inhaler Bo-boom boom, heart racing Pretty soon I’ll need defibrillating Here she comes, start to say a silent prayer Door opens. What the hell am I gonna say to her? I don’t know what to say to her She’s looking at me, I’ve not a clue what to say to her Deer in the headlights, I don’t know what to say to her Shut like a clam, can’t think of anything to say to her Then I’m like Uh, uh, uh, uh, I get lost for words around you Still standing there, just looking like a muppet Time stopped, sick feeling in my stomach Wishing the ground would open up and I could plummet She’s asking me if I’m ok, come on, just say sumat Just say sumat Come on, just say sumat Anything, just say sumat Just open your mouth, form the words and say sumat So now she starts to shut the door in confusion Thought she could be the one but that was just delusion If only I could interact entirely through music I’d point my speakers at her door and this is how I’d do it

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*INCLUDES DIGITAL BOOKLET, LINER NOTES & PDF LYRIC SHEET*

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released January 20, 2017

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Brett Domino Leeds, UK

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